I don't know about you but my tongue can cut like a double edged sword. I notice that this is a problem I have. I'm very quick to speak which I'm working on. Lately I've been studying edification. We need to learn to edify one another. To edify means to build up. Our words can do two things: build up or tear down.
Especially my single ladies. If we desire marriage at some point we definitely need to learn how to effectively build others up. In marriage we will need to constantly build up our husband. Encourage him, love him, & compliment him, not nag him. Do you know what the bible says about a nagging wife? In Proverbs 21:9 it says, "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife" This is how people see you when you nag them.
I have made a conscience effort to practice not nagging now. As I've said before, I'm a teacher. I teach 3rd graders and majority of my students act right but I have those select few that just want to try you at very chance they get. I used to constantly snap at them with my words to get them to fall in line. Guess what? It doesn't work. No one likes to be nagged to death. Soft, kind, gentle words are more effective with my students. I notice that when I compliment them their attitude begins to change they sit up a little straighter, talk with a little more confidence, their whole demeanor changes.
If I relate this back to marriage I know my husband, just like my students, will act right most of the time but I know there will be days where he will get on my last nerve. I know this is true because all christian couples I know have said this at one point or another. Yelling at him and going up one side and down the other with my words will not help. No man likes to be nagged to death. Having a quiet and gentle spirit with my husband will be more effective. If I start to compliment him and build him up he will want to do things for me with a joyful spirit.
I know that personally I feel good when I can give someone a genuine compliment. Tearing others down takes so much energy leaving you upset and the other person upset. Whereas building others up with my words makes me feel good and the other person feel good. Also, it takes all of 10 seconds or less to say something nice to someone. I am obsessed with kid president and in one of his videos he said, "If you can't thing of something nice to say, you aren't thinking hard enough."