In The Pursuit | Part 1 I closed by saying God pursues you what are you pursuing? I wanted addresses the topic of relationships coming from a singles perspective. As singles we continuously hear: be content in your single season, you're going to wish for your single season when you're married, Chase God not Boaz, wait for God's best, Your Adam is sleep, etc.... Truth is I get tired of hearing these cliches over & over. I mean I've been in this single season since my day of birth until now & honestly I've never been bothered by it until recently. The past year I've just been ready to get married already. I mean I'm 22 and been single for 22 years. Y'all say worth the wait well this man better be worth that wait hunny because God sure is taking his sweet time. I got to a point where I was tired of waiting & I was just watching the pretend clock on my wrist ticking away waiting for Adam to wake up because I've been woke!
You know the song, "Christ is enough for me, everything i need is in you...." Well I don't know about you but the thought of that made me hesitate a little bit. I mean surely I want to say yes, yes Lord you are enough for me. But to be honest I want more. It used to irritate me hearing the saying, "Christ is your first love." Whether it was through tweets, Instagram posts, sermons, videos whatever. I just wasn't trying to hear it. I was like thanks but no thanks. I mean God is great and all but I also want a husband. And if I'm honest I want a husband more than I want you. I mean I know you sent your son to die for my sins and save me but I want more. I want an imperfect flawed human to love me because your perfect, unmerited, unconditional love isn't good enough and hurry up please because I'm tired of waiting. Thanks.
This was my mindset when I first read the book Spoken For. In The Pursuit | Part 1 I told you how my mind was open to recognizing how I'm pursued by God. When I read that portion of the book I started sobbing because I realized that the truth was that I didn't want God I wanted a man. While God was pursuing me I was idolizing marriage. His face was turned towards me while my back was turned toward him and my face turned towards my Pinterest wedding board.
The thought of this killed me. I mean how really wicked am I? The fact that God sent his one and only son to die for my sins & loves me unconditionally isn't good enough. I had to repent when I recognized this so I wrote in the notes section of my iPhone, "I'm sorry Lord that I want a relationship and to be married when you have ready pursued me and shown that you want me. That should be good enough. In fact it should be more than enough but my soul is saying that's not good enough no thanks I don't want The Lord of the universe who sent his son to die on the cross for my sins instead I want an imperfect flawed human & ASAP. I'm terribly messed up and I need your help."
What I realized is that while I desire to be married and to be loved by another man I know that man will pursue me just as Christ pursues me. If he's really a man of God he will reflect my God's character. He will love me at my worst just as Christ loved Adam & Eve at their worse. So your Adam is sleep that's fine & dandy so is mine. But I know when he awakes he will pursue me I won't have to do anything but continue to chase after my Lord & as Christ pursues me so will Adam. I will rest in that & I encourage you to do the same sis.